You're completely useless in the revolution.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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