i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize