Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
