just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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