Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
