During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
