i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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