absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did i walk over a car last night?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
