I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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