I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
