They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize