Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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