I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
