"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
