That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He did a backflip because drugs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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