I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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