youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
