If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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