Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
