It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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