Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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