she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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