Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We left the knife in your bed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
