i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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