More tranny stories later!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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