Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
