Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
