just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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