I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i've created a new STD.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
