After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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