So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
