Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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