guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
