id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
