Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
