Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
