i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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