guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
