I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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