At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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