I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
