I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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