Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
