Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
