omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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