hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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