She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
