Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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