Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
