His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
