she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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