my mouth tastes like poor choices
My hand turned me down
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
worst night to have a conscience
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
