I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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