some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
