I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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