p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
