I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I know her cup size but not her name....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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