Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
