We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
