Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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