My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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