I met the friendliest cop last night
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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