Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
