Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
