White coat. Heels.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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