and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
