At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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