Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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