so explain again why im purple
no
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His hands were made for my vagina.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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