I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
