Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've blown a few things in my day
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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