needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
